My Dearest Fassia,
I can’t believe I’ve waited so long to write to you. I used to write a lot to you. But then life happens. And then I feel bad. BUT I know you’d say “silly girl, it’s OK.” Maybe that is why I like writing to you so much- you can’t talk back anymore! (Dark sense of humor coming out). Even though you aren’t here, I do always still listen for your thoughts and opinions and suggestions. Maybe this will help me see clarity in what I’m looking for from you- and what I miss from you. Your thoughts on things!
As I start to write to you- I think this is strange. In my head- I’m so clever and funny. And now I’m writing and my self doubt kicks in- I’m dry and awkward. So Daddy-o… thanks in advance for listening to me and helping me through this!
Sometimes I find myself in this silly cycle of thinking my guilt I have for EVERYTHING is just the old Catholic in me. But then I laugh because I’m really just blaming it on something, like a Catholic would do too! Sick cycle. So now I’m just trying to own it. I’m a guilty type of person. For anything. I just have all the feels! Oh we will explore that more I’m sure. Yup, that is what I need. Someone to talk to who MIGHT understand me. Because I am my Father’s Daughter :)
I’ve opened the door enough tonight. Stretched my boundaries. more later!
With all the love that I possess,
Your daughter
Letters to Fassia 